i love you signed anonymous

everyone is asleep but that's when i'm the most me. varied mixes of drowsiness and the blinking colon between the 3 and the AM pull out emotions that stay hidden during the 'sunny hours'.
i know it's not just me who gets a confusing mix of comfort and fear fuzed together late at night.

is it ok to be sad?
this question runs through my head almost daily. not always in reference to me. i just wonder is it ok to be sad?
i know it's a total turn-off to people. let's face it, sad is an emotion people go to GREAT lengths to avoid or hide from. i know it's not quote "healthy" to bury emotions, but i think sometimes it's necessary.

i believe we were placed here to learn from interactions, and relationships and love.
i believe we were placed here to teach through interactions, and relationships and love.
i'm probably totally missing something here but because i'm sad, people always leave. then again maybe people always leave cause i'm trying too hard to hide the sad and they can see right through my bullshit. how are we supposed to learn or teach when people flee from the bluer spectrum of emotions while that same spectrum shows us about ourselves the most? (i'm starting to go in circles here, aren't i?)

i read a letter tonight posted in TWLOHA's blog written anonymously in regards to the death of dj am this morning. i don't know if it's the stress from grasping at anything to avoid being alone this week, or the emotions pulled up by this hour, or that postings in TWLOHA's blog never fail to talk specifically to you alone and yet everyone at the same time, or the fact i realized i'm sad and need to find a way to escape it, but the letter tore me apart and sewed me together all at once.

"You are going to move through this.
More importantly, I love you. YOU ARE GOING TO MOVE THROUGH THIS.
Don't be defeated. Submit yourself to the process. You are growing. You are changing. You are doing LIFE.

I am not trying to make you feel better. This fucking hurts, and there are no two ways around it.But I am trying to encourage you to not retreat. I can't remove the pain, but I am going to hold your hand while it hurts.

Continue to reach out. You need people right now.

I'm here for anything you need.

You are LOVED in ways you cannot imagine. In ways that don't depend on you. In ways that don't depend on your performance. In ways that cannot be lost. Remember Remember Remember.

Love you my friend.

- Anonymous"

the beauty of not knowing who wrote this yet being sure every word is deeply sincere pulls me to the roots and the grass that pulls us all together. (i've been reading a lot of Whitman lately hah)

maybe it is okay to be sad.
even more importantly, it's okay to let sad out so you can begin to climb it, not escape it.
it's through the facing the bitterness and the.. well.. sad where you learn, and teach, and share, and interact, and love.

"and i know that you'll find love. i will posses your heart"